A Few days without S and Z

I love my kids. I really do. But just like those who love their job can suffer occupational burn out, so can parents. I definitely had mom burn out. I was exhausted, unmotivated and crabby. S and Z saw that and upped their game. It was time for a real break. Not those five minute chocolate bar/Facebook breaks in the closet.

The idea of leaving S and Z made me nervous and I worried about whoever agreed to take on the role of caretaker. They are more than handfuls. So I picked up the phone and called the only person I thought could and would even consider looking after them: My mother. Thankfully she saw how much this break would mean and agreed. Then we booked a place that no one would ever consider taking their kids to. 

My vacation started at the airport. No. On the way to the airport. The silence that filled the car. Once at the airport, checking in was unusually smooth. Sitting down for breakfast and drinking a hot coffee was incredible. The mom at the table behind us was wrangling one child and trying to pull the other from out under the table. I felt for her and watched while sipping my coffee and thinking that'swhat I look like to other people on a daily basis. Once we landed in st. Lucia, we didn't see a single child. I knew then we chose the right destination.

At this point you're probably thinking and the worst parent award goes to... or this woman doesn't love her kids. Just wait.

We stayed at Ladera Resort. This boutique resort is located 1000 ft above ground overlooking the Pitons and Caribbean Sea. The room had only three walls. We were part of the rainforest.  It's an experience like no other. 

We went on excursions and ate at restaurants that we wouldn't dare take our kids to. We had a real adult experience for the first time in six years. I sipped piping hot coffee from a private rooftop pool and stared out into wilderness. I was alone with my thoughts uninterrupted. 

Despite the incredible location and experience, we ended up feeling an unexpected amount of guilt. We missed our S and Z. By the third day we had to really try hard not to mention their names and miss them after every moment that reminded us of them. Which were many.

We came to realize that while these kids are hard work, they are our source of happiness. Seeing them have fun and smile is what makes something more enjoyable than doing it alone.

As my husband said as he took the kids in his arms when we arrived,

 "No more grown up trips ok? Family trips from now on" 

View from our room

Pool on the roof

Sunset room view

Not every day you see a double rainbow

Staycation

I started this staycation with ten gray hairs and ended it with twenty.

My husband took a *whole* week off of work. Gasp. For those who know us, they know how rare this is. Anyway we wanted to make the most of the time off. S and Z haven't really experienced local fun so we decided on some local attractions. We headed to Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls.

For the thrill seeker Z, the water park was heaven. Surprisingly S enjoyed the water park too. She wasn't going anywhere near a slide and did not dare to wet her face or hair. But the fact that she attempted to go in a pool was impressive. She was overjoyed and proud of herself shouting, "Mommy look! I'm swimming! I'm a big girl!"  Meanwhile she was actually only standing in 5 inches of water.

Z has this tendency to lose himself in fun. He lets down the little guard he has and thinks he's invincible. For example, normally he wouldn't think to jump right into the deep end of a pool. But of course when he's so excited and over stimulated he'll run and jump without thinking, is this safe? Will I drown?. This is why we were completely on edge. A big, loud, crowded water park was a recipe for accelerated aging for me and potential disaster. Thank God for life jackets and a fast husband.

Aside from the water park, the rest of our stay was mediocre at best. I could write a whole weeks segment of  'Why my kid is crying' just for those three days. 

Us: get ready for dinner
S: waaaaa no I don't like dinner! I want to stay in my room! Waaaaaa
* went for dinner and on our way back*
S: waaaaa I don't want to go to the room I want to stay at the restaurant waaaaaaaa.

Me: are you going to finish your drink?
S: no
Me: ok Z will have the rest then, ok?
S: ok
*on the way out* waaaaa where's my juice! Waaaaaaaa

the night before we left
S: waaaaa I want to go home! Waaa let's go home I don't want to sleep here waaaaa
*on our way home the following day*
S: I want to go back to the hotel waaaaaaaaaa (all the way home)

You get the picture.  S has become oppositional with everything. Which ends any family outing with us wondering, why did we do this and not just order a pizza and watch Netflix at home?

Well because, this: a glimpse of their happiness is worth the hassle. 

You probably think we learned our lesson and didn't go out for the remainder of the week. I mean any sane person would need to recover from a trip filled with whine and tantrums. Well, the very next morning we packed the kids and went to Wonderland. It was their first ever Wonderland trip so I thought it was kind of special. Wonderland attendance is basically a rite of passage for any Toronto and GTA dweller. My husband and I grew up going there with our families and we wanted to share that with our children.

Now please excuse me while I boast. We didn't realize how much of a thrill seeker Z was until he went on the real crazy roller coasters. He is taller than most five year olds so he was able to get into the rides intended for older children and adults.  He's off the charts for growth, he's basically a five year old in an eight year old's body. He went on those roller coasters and showed no sign of fear. He reminded me of Mr. Bean riding a roller coaster at the fun fair. (Click link to see what I'm talking about). He was upset that he didn't meet the height requirements for the Leviathan and the Behemoth. He's 4 inches away from that and I'm not sure I'm ready to see my Z on those insane rides just yet. My palms were sweaty just seeing him line up for a roller coaster. 

Z obviously didn't inherent my roller coaster phobia. I have a legitimate fear and will not board one if you paid me to. I was perfectly happy in Snoopy planet riding painfully slow moving Ferris wheels and pumpkins rotating at 2 km/h. I'm also glad I had S with me on all those kiddie rides because I wouldn't be allowed on them otherwise.

All in all, the staycation was split.

Great Wolf Lodge: Fail. It was an experience not to be repeated.

Wonderland: Success. Family-tradition in the making. 

When They're Quiet

This segment was inspired by recent events.

Destructive, messy, recent events.

Parents, you know what I'm talking about.

When your kid is quiet, your mind first goes 'aahh, relief'. Then you go and get yourself a snack and check Facebook. A minute passes and you're like 'how nice, they're getting along', or 'I'm impressed, she's playing independently' Another two minutes pass and finally reality sets in.
"Why are they so quiet?" and you decide to check where they are. 

Yep. That's my couch folks.

Here are the top messes of the month:

• An entire Costco sized bag of chia seeds dumped on the kitchen floor. 
• A chunk of delicious chocolate cake thrown on the walls and crumbled on the carpets and stairs. 
• All of the bins containing toys from their rooms dumped in one huge pile taller than they are. 
• A flood in the kitchen from turning on the water and putting the hose in a small bowl and walking away.

Basically all messes that are made in a second but take 30 minutes to clean. My children are experts at those types of messes.

Z and S are a power team. Although they fight and argue about the silliest of things, nothing brings them together like breaking, spilling, ripping, or throwing things.


One day I'll fondly look back at this. But in the mean time, my mantra is 'this is temporary'.