I have another child I rarely write about. S.
Because Z was the first child, I made a conscious effort to report everything. I was a scientist and he was my guinea pig. You might as well picture me wearing a lab coat and protective goggles, following him around with a clip board and a pen in hand. Because that's how it felt. Every roll or hiccup was written down and then later researched on Google.
With S...well. I lost my lab coat. I even lost my clip board and pen. I seriously did not track any of her milestones. She just kind of happened. And finally it hit me. She grew up and I don't know when and how.
Today I had a conversation with her. Yes. a conversation.
Me: S, we need to turn off the water now
S: No
Me: Yes, you're all wet
S: No! *shakes head ferociously*
Me: Okay do you want to stay and play a while longer?
S: Ya *nods with too much enthusiasm*
Me: Ok I'm leaving then
S: Mama No. *whine*
It was after that 'conversation' (I know I use the term loosely, she basically only said no to everything) that I realized I don't have a baby anymore. I have another little human being with feelings and actions independent of mine. It was bittersweet.
Going from babyhood to the toddler years isn't a very definitive switch. There isn't one clear marker that made Baby S into toddler S. Most would define that to be once they pass twelve months. Others define it as when baby starts walking. I still saw S as a baby for way longer than she actually was. I realized it's because she has an older sibling that is clearly not a baby (He's a four year old in a six year old's body, and a three year old's defiance). So by default she becomes the baby of the family.
Even she knows it. She points to herself and says "baby".
Because Z was the first child, I made a conscious effort to report everything. I was a scientist and he was my guinea pig. You might as well picture me wearing a lab coat and protective goggles, following him around with a clip board and a pen in hand. Because that's how it felt. Every roll or hiccup was written down and then later researched on Google.
With S...well. I lost my lab coat. I even lost my clip board and pen. I seriously did not track any of her milestones. She just kind of happened. And finally it hit me. She grew up and I don't know when and how.
Today I had a conversation with her. Yes. a conversation.
Me: S, we need to turn off the water now
S: No
Me: Yes, you're all wet
S: No! *shakes head ferociously*
Me: Okay do you want to stay and play a while longer?
S: Ya *nods with too much enthusiasm*
Me: Ok I'm leaving then
S: Mama No. *whine*
It was after that 'conversation' (I know I use the term loosely, she basically only said no to everything) that I realized I don't have a baby anymore. I have another little human being with feelings and actions independent of mine. It was bittersweet.
Going from babyhood to the toddler years isn't a very definitive switch. There isn't one clear marker that made Baby S into toddler S. Most would define that to be once they pass twelve months. Others define it as when baby starts walking. I still saw S as a baby for way longer than she actually was. I realized it's because she has an older sibling that is clearly not a baby (He's a four year old in a six year old's body, and a three year old's defiance). So by default she becomes the baby of the family.
Even she knows it. She points to herself and says "baby".
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| This is what happens when you have an older brother. Baby firefighter |
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